Little things

When you ask your toddlers for toilet paper when you realize to late that the bathroom you are in has none...and two eager toddlers run to you with no name brand non soft extra cardboard sandpaper feeling---paper towel....beggars can't be choosers. At least the can follow instructions at this age...next time I might get the plush toilet paper. And they were SO proud. It was so special!

Naptime

Yesterday during naptime I snuggled up to my girl and was helping her fall asleep. (She was being a monkey). Well as she stilled I stilled. Brought me back to the baby days. We both drifted off to sleep together. It was bliss. We slept for a couple hours! This is unheard of (I don't typically nap)! Well soon enough beckham came running into my room and woke us both up! 'Mommmmmmmy night night?' 

I have to admit having them share a room has had it's set of challenges. They love each other so much and they think it's a party. Sometimes they don't fall asleep till 8/8:30, sigh! 

The secret delight of them sharing a room has been then not napping in the same room. It's slowed me down, grounded me during naptime. I have to be quiet as to not wake Audrey up. Also most days I get a serious Audrey snuggle! It's heaven. Oh my baby! I just love her sweet snuggles!!!

The Jar (read previous post first)

Ha ha, I should have clarified that this was a source of debate not conflict. We both whole heartidly were laughing about 'the jar'.

Brent merely thought it was silly to 'not spend' and instead feel like I need to 'hoard change to buy myself something. He wants me to have that freedom. It's MY own prioritizing that makes me not. My own silliness.

I received quite a few texts and emails. Made me giggle. 80% of the stay at home moms felt the same. Had a hard time spending money on themselves (ever). Even 20% admitted to having their own hidden hoarding jar. Easier to spend money on themselves with the 'leftovers' and the 'change' then from the front of the budget. 

Brent admitted that he understood why I didn't tell him about the jar. He knew I didn't because he honest would...

-spend it all on Starbucks (slowly but surely!)

-think it was silly that I wouldn't feel like I could just spend. 

He said we can call the jar my 'allowance jar' and maybe he will even slip a $20 in his jeans hahaha. He thinks it's silly not to just spend when needed (within our means) but if it makes me feel better I can just spend what's in the jar. 

The moral to the story. Sometimes your skeleton in your marital closet is  'hoarding a change jar', sometimes you have to share it, sometimes you have to hide it better (jokes).

I still think it's funny after almost 8 years we still can laugh so hard at our differences. I litterly have been eyeing a certain sweater for almost a 2 years (it comes out every winter), Brent's opinion is he wishes I had bought it the first winter so he didn't have to hear my lusting over a sweater until the second year...and shoot I didn't justify It this year so looks like I'll be talking about it till next winter!

Do I regret not telling Brent about 'the jar', nah. He wasn't upset. More just shocked and thought I was absurd to not feel like I could spend and instead felt like I needed to hoard 'hidden change'. Am I sad I got caught, nah. It made for some interesting discussions on personality, spending, and budgets. I even get to keep my mommy $$ jar! 

It really wasn't that hidden. The jar filled to the brim (nearly) was dead front and center in my jar (canning jar) cupboard. If if was a big secret I would have hid it somewhere...hidden ha ha. 

I also agree honesty in a relationship is #1! Next time when I realize my inner frugal hoarder is taking over I will be more forthcoming. 

It's a stage of life. It's so funny. The advice I have given to many of my new mommy friends is true to me even nearly 4 years later. Being a mommy is selfless and beautiful. You learn how much of yourself you will give and sacrifice so happily but you also need to take care of yourself because when you take care of your needs you are able to be a better wife, mommy and person. 

We all have needs, desires and wants. In this case I would guess that my 'need' was feeling like I had the 'freedom' to take care of my appearance/wardrobe without having to burden the bank/budget. All realistic, reasonable desires. Brent actually pushes me to obtain these desires it's me that holds myself back. Especially in this 'mommy stage' its easy to feel frumpppppy! Rocking the baseball hat, yoga pants and athletic hoody wasn't what I was hoping my uniform would be. Yet when date night comes along I wanna be able to put on some cloths and feel like a REAL person not 'just a mom'. 

So to conclude.

Mommy is keeping the jar

Mommy might get extra 'tips' in the laundry from now on (Score!)

Mommy is going to work on not being quite as frugal. 

Mommy might buy daddy an occasional coffee with my hoarding allowance jar

Mommy is glad daddy is her best friend and that they could grow up and laugh together over all these funny things 

Finale:

The horrible day is going to come when my kids start tapping into my 'hoarding jar' oh dear. I see a part two of this blog coming in ten years haha. 

Frugal Mama

Ok, this post is going to be strange. Slightly (overly) personal. Also hope you respond to the question(S) posted at the end. I know YOU are reading haha so don't chicken out. Give me your perspective.

I'm frugal. I don't know how it happened (not how I was raised that's for sure). It did though. I'm frugal to the bone. I can reno a house on a very limited budget, I can dress my kids with little money, I can meal plan and grocery shop on a strict budget. This is me....through and through. For a stage of life (almost a whole year) I didn't spend anything for the kids (cloths, diapers, wipes, toys, things they needed) unless it was paid for with money from selling our used things. We actually calculated it. After having kids we made money and landed up not 'SPENDING' anything. (I have maybe only paid for 2 boxes of diapers ever, and given MANY away)

I used coupons for all the wipes, diapers, formula, shampoos etc. To be honest sometimes I even got cash back, or the amount of coupons exceeded the amount so $ was taken off of the extra items I was purchasing and didn't have coupons for. (I actually went almost 3+ years without buying any razors, cleaning supplies, deodorant, toilet paper etc.), then I sold everything (often for more then I paid, because I would get such good deals), then I had gifts, well some gifts I passed on to others since they were a gift and I wanted to return the favor, other bigger ticket items I sold when we no longer needed them. 

Why am I saying this? I just want you to see the big picture of a part of who I am before you hear my question and respond. You're going to respond right? 

So the story behind the question:

I don't spend money on myself. I'm talking I still wear that camp shirt from 1997 to bed at night haha (poor brent), or I have sweaters from highschool that I still wear (they still look great, I swear). I just would rather spend money on everything but myself. Yet I know I need to be "updated".  Kids need new cloths-I buy them, Brents jeans are faded-I buy him new ones, Kitchen needs to be re-stocked-I stock it, I am frugal but I have no problem spending when needed on anyone and anything but myself.

I am owed a few weekend aways (girls weekends) because of Brent's bribes and trades haha. Let's just say I still haven't redeemed my weekend owed to me for potty training beckham solo. So my thoughts are what happens when the time comes for that weekend. That girls weekend. Hotel, food, shopping...all expensive. I don't buy for myself often but when I do I do enjoy nice things *grin*. My frugal self was slightly stressed and didn't want it to be a burden on us when the time comes.

I came up with this great idea. Seriously, lightbulb moment happened. I do the laundry, I do the cleaning. How often does change and money just get left in cloths. Left in various places.

I decided (MONTHS) ago. I decided that when money got left in jeans in the laundry or on counters (just strewn for me to clean up) that instead of cleaning it up and putting it in the bank when needed I would put it in a jar and hide it and slowly let it accumulate. Well months later I have WELL over a couple hundred dollars (prob closer to $300+). Also when I sold certain things I would put the $ in there. 

Well a couple things happened (in all honesty I am not going to say it was correct of me in this instance). I hadn't told Brent about this jar because it was my own silliness. He actually is more then happy when I spend money on myself and actually he is quite happy to spend money on himself haha. So he needed some change one day (I was outside) if I was inside I prob would have gone in and snuck some out of my jar and re-hid it haha that wasn't the case. I told him to look in my wallet and car. (I was busy planting with the kids). Turned out to be no $ in these spots that normally have some money.

Fast forward (a day later).

Brent found my jar. Lets be honest it wasn't really hidden well. It was hidden in a jar in my canning jar cupboard. He really just happened upon it.

I was horrified. Now I had to explain to him what it was for.

His thoughts are that I don't need to hoard the money, just spend what I want/need. That the $ in the jar is just as much his as it is mine. He wants to put the money in the bank and I need to just be able to start spending if I want to or need things. He also thinks I should have told him about the jar when he was looking for money (we weren't alone when he needed the money, he was with another guy whom I didn't know). Not really the time or place to tell him about my hoarding jar in my opinion.

So my thoughts, it makes me wanna cry when it comes to putting the money back in the bank. haha I feel like I worked so hard and long for it. I don't have an 'allowance' or spending money. I really don't spend at all. I am the epitome of frugal.

Brents thoughts, money is money. It's both of ours. He buys coffee multiple times a day, eats out almost everyday and a couple times a year we go through his cloths and update and get rid of things etc. He spends what he needs and he wants the same for me. He doesn't think I need a hoarding jar. (I see the reasoning behind this). The spend what you need policy doesn't work well for me as I tend to NEVER spend. 

MOM I know you read my blog *wink wink* you were the one BACK in the day, the YOUNG YOUNG married day, that said money found when doing the laundry became yours. I took this as marital advice haha. I'm expecting your opinion. 

So my question:
-Is it absurd to have a money hoarding jar to spend frivolously once in a blue moon
-If its ok to have that money jar, is it ok for that money jar to be just mine (not have to share it)
-Am I the only mom that finds spending money on myself to be painful?
-Do I look like i'm dated and stuck in 2005? LOL because thats the year that most of my cloths were purchased in....oh mercy.
-What works for you guys when it comes to this type of situation

Doing the allowance thing doesn't really work for Brent and I. He has a certain amount that he spends on coffee and food and stays within that +/- and everything else is pretty budgeted out (because I do the buying). We did the allowance thing and I never spent it (we did equal allowance) and Brent felt like a caged (starving) animal. So now his food/coffee budget is looser and I just don't spend. 

 

***PS-this isn't a source of conflict just a source of debate. Brent actually thinks it's funny that I would hoard money. I still think Brent's my Prince even though he thinks I'm nutty.***

Garden

So I have this memory of being a kid. Wanting a garden. Buying seeds. Planting a garden. Things started popping up and growing. Then our family decided to re-landscape and the whole garden was demolished. I never saw the end result. I was probably only 11. Then being young marrieds I grew a few herbs and a a few veggies in pots (peas) on our patio. I lovvvvvvved it. 

Fast forward 6 years. 

I may have gone nuts. Naptime filled with gardening youtube videos. Seeds galore, will they all fit. I'm actually laughing. I'll list all the seeds I've 'started'

-kale

-cucumber 

-tomato

-carrots (not yet)

-peas

-beans

-radishes

-broccoli

-lettuce 

-peppers

-onions

-chives 

-zucchini 

I'm pretty sure I even missed a couple... I am laughing so hard. I bought these mini greenhouses and well I've lost control I just wanna grow everything. Is it my frugalness or is it my desire to be fruitful in my dream....my gardening dream...fingers crossed!!!

Fake Farmers

So it's march. That means another year of fake farming. (Fake as in we only 'farm' when the weather is agreeable)

-chickens

-garden

-bean growing with the kids 

That's about all the fake farming we will be doing this year. We were really excited to do chickens again, the kids love being able to get eggs every morning and honestly I adore it as well. It freaks Brent out but this year he has already are TWO eggs that I didn't prepare for him. Haha this is a bid deal folks! (Usually they give him the heeby jeebies)

-garden garden. Last year I had the best intentions. When Brent said the irrigation wouldn't be running last year I threw all my sends in the garden (I knew that I was a lazy gardener and it wouldn't work hahaha). This year he said they are almost all installed and he will install special ones for my garden (happy dance)

-growing beans. This is something I remember doing in school. We have been talking lots about food and how it grows and were it comes from. So we are growing beans in jars with paper towel so that the kids can see the whole process. They have been super into helping with the garden so this will just be a way to better understand what is happening in the dirt (simplified, toddler version). 

Vacay2014

So my hubster and I went on vacay the last week of January. Oh man it was bliss. 

Audrey and Beckham were so excited to be at grandma and grandpas that they barely would say goodbye to us. As I walked to the car tearing up I knew I would be fine as soon as I put my big girl panties on since they are I'm great hands!

We relaxed, snuggled, dated, swam with dolphins and went on lots of adventures. One of my favorite highlights was a silly simple one. Simply having time to get ready in the morning without having to worry about anyone getting into trouble. I did my hair every day *pat on back* I'm kinda low maintenance so that's a big deal.

We may have came home to a flood and had our flight home majorly delayed but we arrived home and were eager to begin real life with our sweet lil ones!!!