A Fresh Start

I took a break from the blogging world. Life had become mayhem and it was just something I no longer had any time for sadly. I am happy to say I am back and will try not to take a break again.

Here I am sitting on the couch eating a frozen pudding cup with my spoon and thinking about how I can recap the last three months in one post. (YES, I'M EATING. THAT ALONE IS BEAUTIFUL!)

I am 26 weeks pregnant. (14 weeks to go!)
I spent from about week 6-17 dieing a slow miserable death.
IV's, hospitalization, isolation, blood tests, poking, prodding, trying new medicines, allergic reactions, wonderful doctors, horrid doctors, incredible nurses, nasty nurses. I feel like i've been through it all (TWICE).

I am still on ondanstron (every 4 hours) and still throwing up, still feeling vile every second of everyday but man I am SO good at faking it. My patience is super low because I spend so much time faking being 'good' and trying to think of other people. I just don't want to be the complainer. Sometimes I lay in bed and really think to myself. 'was that person always that irritating?' I usually ask Brent and he usually thinks they are irritating as well ha ha so it really doesn't help. I'm pregnant and irritated by everyone...but Brent and Audrey. I would think since I see them all the time they would irritate me but they don't. Not even one bit, not even at all. Watch out world. I am woman-hear me roar!

So were am I at?
Physically I am doing better then before but I am still not doing very well
Emotionally I am absolutly defeated. My heart is on overload and I just wish I could be a boy and compartmentalize it all.
Spiritually me and God have seen better days but I count my blessings and know that going through all of this twice has brought me closer to Him as He is all I could rely on. He was my only light in my dark times. He was the one that I praise in good times and bad.

Today is June 14.
Today I am a wife to an incredible man who has been there honestly through the good and bad and seen me at my best and my absolute worst. He is my best friend and the only person I could imagine sharing this lifes journey with.
I am a mother to a beautiful one year old girl who capivates me and shows me how to truly enjoy life to the fullest.
Okay, i'll let it out...i'm also going to be the mother to a ....shoot. I just can't do it. I'll save it for another post. Perhaps tomorrow.

Thank you to all of you that prayed for me, my family and supported us through this hard time. I feel so blessed to have many of you in my life.