Day 56 on the comfy couch

Prada and I are best buds. She lays in front of me on the couch all day. She is so faithful and loyal. Uhoh in this pic you can see my 'clutter'. Brent is still my hero and has taken care of all the cleaning, cooking, tidying etc for the last 56 days! What a trooper! He's going to be such a great dad I can just sense it.

Brent and I were talking the other day how we have a small but very real chance of having babies that looking nothing like us. Brent looks like his 'weibe' side of his family while the rest of his family has 'converse' genes. Also I look like my mom but Chanel my sister and Greg are blonde with green eyes. Brents brothers are blonde, short, and blue eyes. Brent and I are both tall with dark feautures (Brent does have lovely blue eyes). I just think it would be almost humorous if we had short, blond haired, blue eyed babies.

***here is a baby bump pic of me at 13.5 weeks




On Sunday Brent and I decorated for Christmas. It was magical.




**this is my view from the couch now. I find it purely enchanting! I love Christmas.




xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

Dearest Grandma

Grandma,
You would me 91 one if you were here today. You are missed all the time. Sometimes I catch glimmers of you through my precious faded memories. I thought getting married without you would be the hardest thing I would go through without you. Having this baby inside of me, growing, has brought so many warm treasured memories rushing back as fresh as ever. I miss you and wish that I could just see you for even thirty seconds just to see the smile spread across your face when I whispered the precious words that would inform you about my hidden treasure.

You bought me my first doll, dear lil Pinky. She was pink, plush, and darling. You replaced her more times then I can count without me even knowing. I always had a fresh pink doll.

You loved me so tenderly and knew me like no other. You treasured every word I uttered and treated me like gold. You touched my heart and have left this permenent impression that only you could fill. I miss you often. I feel it most during milestones.

When I was little you knew how much I loved you. You knew how much you were my world. You graciously and selflessly prepared me for a life without you. You had hard talks with a little girl in pink who only cared that you were there when I graduates, got married, and had a baby. You braced me for the cold hard reality that you wouldn't be there for any of those momentous days. You had to gently make me aware. I would remind you time and time again that you had to be there.

Graduating without you're presence wasn't as hard as I imaginged. Probably because of the new found love I had just found. I missed you and knew you would be proud.

Getting engaged, marrying my prince without you was heartbreaking. Many tears were shed. So hard to not have you there. I wished you were there to help me choose my dress and pick out flowers. I wore pearls that day knowing how classy you would have thought they looked.

This precious baby. You would have been the most amazing great grandma. You knew this would be the hardest. When you got sick you wrapped up one last pinky and gave it to my mom to give me in case you weren't there. A precious note in your elegant handwritting has tears flooding and memories rushing. You knew me so well. How did you know that this would mean the world to me. Thank you for this one last momento. I promise to pass on beautiful stories of your love and care to all my children. It is truly sad that they never will know you like I did.




I'm so excited to pass on this toy you left me. If I have a boy it will have to wait because it was named 'pinky' for it's pink color. I did recently email the company that makes them in hopes of getting my hands on a blue one.

I love you and will treasure all our memories forever.


xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

Snap, crackle, pop.

When I sneeze it feels like my belly is going to pop?

Why?

So weird! Why does it feel this way? It's most likely just me.

I think I have a belly bump now, or just a lump, or swollen belly. Anyways I'm well on my way to getting a bump.

Tonight I'm going to make my first trip in 51+ days to the mall. This will force me to walk, socialize and also gain endurance. It's very exciting. The foster girls and I are going to the woman's 'bay' event. Not sure what it even is but I'm excited to put on cloths and get out of the house!!!

Reflection upon the last 50!

This last 50 days has been filled with many things; hospitals, hard hospital beds, ivs, expensive drugs, doctors, nurses, er room waiting lines, ultrasounds, bloodtests(many!), falling in love with this little baby, support from many lovely people, my husband astronomicaly blowing my socks off with his love, grace, patience, care and support. Of course there was also a few other things; frusteration, sadness, dispair and disapointment. At the end of the day I feel like what was left in my heart was something that surprised me, joy. I am truly so blessed and have so much to praise our amazing God for.

The one thing that has gotten me through this whole ordeal is my husband. He has taken care of every need, physical or emotional. He was my ultimate support system. We laughed, cried and joked about this whole ordeal. He was there for me every step of the way. I feel so blessed to have married my true best friend and I thank God for the love that we share. I feel like during this hard time it has not only strengthened our love but affirmed what we already knew. We would do anything for one another. The love Brent gave me has gotten me through every moment, every tear, every thought of dispair and any moment that I felt doubt or fear in these last 50 days. He is the strongest man I have ever met. His strength and yet in that strength his ability to care for me tendorly has deepened my indieing love for him. Thank you darling for all the beautiful gifts you have given me. I treasure you and respect you more then any man or person I have ever met.

Joy. Were does joy come from in the dark times? It comes from the one who knows our needs best our Lord. He has taught me that going through these past 50 days hasn't just been about being sick but fighting for life and not just any life the life of a little Brent and Sheena. When I wasn't sure how I would get through the days I just focused on what type of little person was inside of me. Is 'it' going to be sassy like me or handy like Brent? Is the baby going to be well manored like Brent or mischievious like me? Will our baby learn to melt peoples hearts with it's baby blue eyes or pout and flutter it's long lashes while showing it's dark brown eyes? God filled my heart with beautiful questions and dreams for our babies future. I just can't wait to get to know our little muffin.

I also want to thank those who took time to read my blog and write me encouraging messages. I know many would think it's insignificant but it truly has touched my heart. I appreciate your love care and support so much. Thank you so much, each and every one of you.

I think I will continue to blog even after ' the baby journey ' is over. It's a good way to reflect and I've really enjoyed it.

So day by day I have been feeling a little better. It's such a slow process. I'm not sure when I'll be all better but I am grateful for the tiny bit better that I am feeling!

xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

Six sad words

The chips did not stay down.
Ketchup chips might have to be added to the list of foods that will never be the same again. So much for my good calorie day. :(


xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

Betcha just can't eat one!

Today I had a weird craving.
Ketchup chips.
Background information:
Anytime in the last couple months that Brent would eat chips in front of me or breathe near me after eating chips I would find myself dry heaving and running desperately to the bathroom. It was intense. ( this was occuring right up until um 20 mins ago)







Today I found chips.
Took the bag to the living room.







Whaaaaaat???? Were did they go. I ate the whole bag. I went from thinking chips were vile to engulfing a whole bag.

My doctor had a certain amount of calories he wants me to eat or drink. Even with drinking boost +calories I could never hit that number. I'm pretty sure today I'm good to go lol. Wahoo to hitting the calorie goal for the first time.

To be honest I don't know how I ate that many chips. I'm not a chip girl. Woa. So odd.

Perhaps I'm on a uphill climb. Knock one wood. I do feel wretched after the chips but no 'tossing of the cookies' so that's a beautiful thing.

Is anyone else guilty of doing this? This was my first and hopefully my last. I need to get past the gagging over veggies. Potatoes are veggies right? I guess I did have a lot of veggies. My doctor also wanted ne have a high salt diet so I retain more water. How backwards is that. So funny to think about.

xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

I'm so over it...

Just thought I would let everone know me and the pram were done. I'm over it. I decided that a pram would take up way to much space and clutter things up. It was a short lived phase. It'll probably resurface again when I have more storage space lol. As far as now goes though you can consider us on a permenent break from each other.

However since I have all this time to think and 'obsess' because I have been in bed for 45 days lol I have a new 'idea'. If I have a girl I don't want a silly tacky mobile for the crib I want a chandelier. How cute would that be. I'm pretty sure if I was a baby a twinkling glitzy 'mobile' would entertain me much more then the 'usual' animal mobiles. I was also the girl that got bribed into being potty trained with gorgeous lace panties. All my mom had to do was dangle those lacey beauties in front of me and I never used a diaper again. So I'm pretty sure the daughter of that girl would enjoy a glitzy sparkling mobile. I have no idea were to get this mobile or were to begin looking. This is my new 'thing'. Hopefully this phase lasts longer then the 'pram phase' did. I'm so silly.

Any ideas were to begin to look (preferably on the Internet since I'm not that mobile lately)?

Love you all!







xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

Oh no! Is 14 wks the new 12? Or has it always been 14?

I thought the end of my first trimester was at twelve weeks! Well I had an appointment with my midwife and apparently the end of the first trimester is fourteen weeks!!! Were did I get the notion that it was twelve weeks? She seemed to think it would be a few weeks before I feel better and then recovery time. Um, hello I've made plans for when I'm 'better' so I better be better pretty quick. If I'm to sick to eat American thanksgiving I will lose it lol. This promise from Brents mom is the one thing I'm holding onto.

So after my midwife appointment Brent needed to stop at the grocery store. I decided I was going to come in with him. This is my first experiance walking farther then to the bathroom. I made it up the juice aisle. I made it down the aisle that has chicken wings. Then my world started to crumble. I was exhausted. I for sure was not up for anymore walking. I went and sat by a till and waited for Brent. When we went home I felt so sick.

I took my medication at 6ish and started watching tv. I have been waking up at 5am since the 'fall back' so I was forcing myself to stay up until eight in order to hopefully sleep in a little later. Well I am awake and it is 5am-dang it didn't work. Why do I wake up so early you ask? Well Brent gets up for work at 6ish to go to work and he makes me breakfast and gives me my medication. Since this silly fall back I have been waking up at 5am! So lame. So the night before I went to bed at 6pm and woke up at 5am. Should I just go to bed early since my body is waking me up so early. I'm definaltly exhausted by 6pm.

I was kinda clinging to the unrealistic idea that when I woke up this morning I would no longer be insanely nautious. Instead I woke up with some sniffles. I'm counting my blessings though. At least it's not h1n1.


Okay well it's 5:38am I'm going to try and fall back to sleep. Wish me luck.

xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

This is what I eat...

My diet consists of...

Toast (gluten&wheat free, egg free)

Gummy worms

Sprite slurpys












Ps- I don't have a bump. Why does it feel weird laying on my stomach? Are you not sopposed to lie on your stomach at all when your pregnant? It just feels odd.

xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone

Oh Halloween ..

This was the worst Halloween ever!! There may have even been tears it was so bad. Luckily I was alone so no one witnessed me crying over a lousy Halloween haha.

Brent went to his parents for dinner and a movie. So I was desperately alone all night. ( I was happy for him to get fed and get some social interaction)

I stayed home and watched ...so embarssed to say it because it's such a trashy show...'sex in the city' marathon. I went to bed at 830pm. No tricker treaters (turned lights off because of germs and lack of energy to open door.) So sad. I sipped on cranberry juice so I had some 'sugar'.

I love Halloween. The candy. The dressing up! The festivities!!! It's one of my favorite holidays haha. This one was the most disapointing so far!

Boo! I missed Colbie concert&howie day *tear, thanksgiving, whistler turkey sale, turkey dinner, u2 concert, fright nights, Halloween and so much more. This is day 40....that's right day 40 of being sick and in bed! I'm having a little bit of a pity party but no one is invited because I'm to scared to get sick (swine flu, flu, cold etc) it would be the end of me if I got sick!

I'm sorry for the complaining blog today. I am just starting to feel so discouraged. 40 days of isolation is finally getting to me! My doctor says I still have weeks left before I can even think of real life again :(

40 days&40 nights...of solitude and illness.

Okay it's Sunday, think positive.

...

...

Okay so Shawna was selling this little jacket that stole my heart. I bought it...it's for a boy...if we have a boy. haha. I figure I have a 50/50 chance at a boy. Here's a pic of it. Isn't it precious? This is the highlight of my Halloween weekend!!!







I just think it's incredibly precious! Thanks so much Shawna! Everyone cross your fingers...maybe this baby will get to wear it...maybe not haha.

Hope you all had a great Halloween!

xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone