This last 50 days has been filled with many things; hospitals, hard hospital beds, ivs, expensive drugs, doctors, nurses, er room waiting lines, ultrasounds, bloodtests(many!), falling in love with this little baby, support from many lovely people, my husband astronomicaly blowing my socks off with his love, grace, patience, care and support. Of course there was also a few other things; frusteration, sadness, dispair and disapointment. At the end of the day I feel like what was left in my heart was something that surprised me, joy. I am truly so blessed and have so much to praise our amazing God for.
The one thing that has gotten me through this whole ordeal is my husband. He has taken care of every need, physical or emotional. He was my ultimate support system. We laughed, cried and joked about this whole ordeal. He was there for me every step of the way. I feel so blessed to have married my true best friend and I thank God for the love that we share. I feel like during this hard time it has not only strengthened our love but affirmed what we already knew. We would do anything for one another. The love Brent gave me has gotten me through every moment, every tear, every thought of dispair and any moment that I felt doubt or fear in these last 50 days. He is the strongest man I have ever met. His strength and yet in that strength his ability to care for me tendorly has deepened my indieing love for him. Thank you darling for all the beautiful gifts you have given me. I treasure you and respect you more then any man or person I have ever met.
Joy. Were does joy come from in the dark times? It comes from the one who knows our needs best our Lord. He has taught me that going through these past 50 days hasn't just been about being sick but fighting for life and not just any life the life of a little Brent and Sheena. When I wasn't sure how I would get through the days I just focused on what type of little person was inside of me. Is 'it' going to be sassy like me or handy like Brent? Is the baby going to be well manored like Brent or mischievious like me? Will our baby learn to melt peoples hearts with it's baby blue eyes or pout and flutter it's long lashes while showing it's dark brown eyes? God filled my heart with beautiful questions and dreams for our babies future. I just can't wait to get to know our little muffin.
I also want to thank those who took time to read my blog and write me encouraging messages. I know many would think it's insignificant but it truly has touched my heart. I appreciate your love care and support so much. Thank you so much, each and every one of you.
I think I will continue to blog even after ' the baby journey ' is over. It's a good way to reflect and I've really enjoyed it.
So day by day I have been feeling a little better. It's such a slow process. I'm not sure when I'll be all better but I am grateful for the tiny bit better that I am feeling!
xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)
*posted from iPhone
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