New Year and New Thoughts.

I have been doing a lot of contemplating in the last few weeks. With this year will come so many changes. Good and bad. I have never really made new years resolutions but perhaps now would be a good time to implement personal changes that I want to make.

1- I want to be more regular about reading my bible (everyday, fingers crossed). Sometimes I get so caught up in life and forget the things that are really important. I have thought about it more recently because I want to be a good role model for my child(ren). I want to teach them how to love Jesus and have a personal relationship with him. I feel like sometimes it's so hard to get excited about reading the bible and other times when I learn something new I find it addicting. I'm hoping to become more steadfast and regular rather then go through so many ups and downs when it comes to bible time.

2- I want to work on me. What does it mean to be a Godly woman. Who is it that God wants me to be, not in the future but right now. How can I be a better wife, sister, daughter and friend to those I love. Being a woman ( or being me ) I get so caught up in artificial things such as fashion, gossip (terrible, I know), desires&dreams (bigger home and more yard), and all those other things that don't matter in the end. I can't bring any of it to heaven and when I'm no longer on earth I would rather people to remember me as more then a lady with a fancy kitchen and expensive shoes. I want to be remembered for how passionate I was and how much I loved those who knew me.

3- I want to learn the line between judgemental/opinionated and just being insightful/caring. I'll give an example. I have a friend who started defending drinking during pregnancy etc. I shudder just thinking of this. I feel like doing something that is harmful (and proven) is very selfish especially when it doesn't just effect you but an innocent child. I think it is just as bad as drinking and driving. Anyways, in situations such as these how do you deal with it properly and respectfully. I'm at a loss. I think this is truly an area were I need to work on. I understand everyone can have there own opinion but in terms of some subjects such as the one listed above I have a really hard time not being overly opinionated, defensive and perhaps a tad (it's shameful) judgemental. I just want what is best for those I love and don't know how to deal with it. Any advice would be appreciated.


Anyways these are my 'resolutions in a nutshell'. Did you make any?

**On another note ultrasound #2 will be on Thursday and the final verdict is we will be finding out the sex!!! Sooo exciting! This will probably help in terms of indecision with fabrics and decorations :)

I also have been reading 'the mother of all baby books' so far a great read. I am learning so much I feel like I should start over and take notes. I do have a list of things Brent and I need to talk about/do before baby. Decide on god-parents, will, life insurance, birth plan(big task), errands (baby items).

I went through a stage when I was sick were I was like ' bring on birth ' current status now is fear. Tearing, bleeding, stitches, needle in spine, saggy belly, bursting milk (learning to nurse). I'm intimidated. I also feel a great amount of respect for the woman that have already conquered birth. I may or may not feel like ' bringing home baby', ' birth story', ' I didn't know I was pregnant' are horror tv shows. I can't watch them anymore. I prepare myself best by lieing to myself and pretending that the baby will feel like 'passing' jello. Or perhaps a stork truly will come and save the day. Don't get me wrong I'm so excited for this little one to come but I wish I could achieve the same goal a little easier.

In grade nine a boy who liked me and who I happened to like as well was chatting to me at school between classes. He happened to say a few words that scared me for the rest of my highschool career. Those words were. 'You have childbearing hips.' Firstly how does this fit into a conversation...

-between classes
-between grade niners
-what boy says this to a grade nine girl who he has feelings for?
-what grade nine girl wants to be told this?

I may or may not have slapped him. Woops. (I promise I'm not violent, he needed to be put in place though. Come on. I apologized years later for the slap and have not slapped since.)

Anyways I was traumatized. What do child bearing hips look like? Is that good or bad?

This is the first time that I have to admit that I pray that the grade nine boy was correct in his observation about a girls hips!

xoxox
-Sheena (plus Brent & baby)

*posted from iPhone