There is this one person in my life and this is how I would describe them
-untrustworthy
-manipulative
-two faced
-hypocrite
-gossip
Why do I have this person in my life you may ask. Everyone has one. Someone they regularly have to smile and nod to. Someone who you guard yourself around.
Brent and I were talking and we figured we had three options.
1- Cut them out of our life
2- Ignore the drama and just continue to smile and nod.
3- bring up 'drama' when it occurs and deal with it. (This person doesn't handle conflict and never apologizes so usually confronting and trying to deal with issues leads to stress and sweeping it under 'the rug')
We have done all three and none are successful. This person is a 'key' person in our lives. If our lives were a tv show they would be one of the main characters.
We are at a loss. Right now it's something we are really praying about. It's just such a sticky situation. It's so stressful dealing with a situation like this.
I remember as a child WWJD was written everywhere. That popular saying. In this situation I really don't know 'what Jesus would do'. How many times do you turn your cheek?
Anyways this is my rant. I'm sorry for being such a downer. My heart is just heavy tonight. Oh how I wish there was a easy answer.
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so...does this person read your blog?
ReplyDeletelol nope-that would be insane to post it if they did.
ReplyDeleteIt was a venting session-bah.
I know exactly how you feel remember I ranted about that same situation, you know who i was talking about haha anyway so far I have been just smiling and noding, and speaking up when the time comes, but also trying to remember the reasons why this person is in my life, and the good things she has brough to it... its hard to remember the good things, lol but you just have to in order to avoide an argument! Good luck Ill pray for you as you did for me!!
ReplyDeleteWe have a similar situation with a "main character" in our lives too.
ReplyDeleteWe have found that confronting this person just get's there defenses up..as it would me too if I had hurt someone, but this person cannot take the hurt and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you that way" which is all we really want.
Most of the time we just extend grace and try to be light and happy, I try not to beat the situations that are hurtful to death. Because as a woman I can talk and re-evaluate the situation over and over and over again. And that's not healthy for any of us involved.
*Funny thing is, is that we're always surprised at their stupidity, even after we've seen it for the past 10+ years!
However, since this person is a woman, I have found that if I speak to her as soon as the hurt happens instead of letting it brew...and I speak clearly and concisely usually the response is apologetic and everything is forgotten.
But remember this has taken 10+ years to get to this point! Bottom line, we're never going to rid our lives of this person, nor do we want to. That doesn't make the constant battle any easier. I pray a lot before we see each other, hoping that our actions don't offend and that we are warm towards each other.
Truly it's a test of 70x7 and still some days that doesn't feel like enough or fair, when we feel we're always the ones bending over backwards!
I hope this helps! xo, *S