Empty Womb

I have to admit I have empty womb syndrome.

I know we made a deal, no more pregnancies. I just admit that I still have those aches for another baby.
I wish I wish I could get pregnant and it not be complicated. I wish that we could figure out a way to make pregnancy and me friends.
Beckham is 8 months, they would be 17 months apart. Nope nope, we are done. It was a nice thought. Maybe I'll sneak into one of my babies rooms for some sleepy baby cuddles. It still makes me sad that because my pregnancies are so crazy that we aren't able to have as many babies as we'd want. Just for the record if it wasn't for my pregnancies I would have been ready to get pregnant months ago. Instead I've packed up and sold every ounce of baby gear and cloths to avoid the temptation of something that could never be.

Does that ache for another baby ever leave? I guess I shall find out. Maybe that ache will be gone when I'm really skinny and I don't want to destroy my body again ha ha. Perhaps that's the key to closure with my empty womb syndrome.