18

the mid-day nap
I'm trying to figure out if I am actually more rested or rejuvenated after a mid-day nap.
Often when Audrey lays down for her nap I force myself to go rest. I have a hard time settling down on command so I am not sure how much rest I am actually getting. I usually lay there with my eyes closed (I don't let myself open them) and I count backwards from 200 by 3s (odd numbers) 197, 194, 191...usually by 0 I am asleep or I feel like its hopeless. I don't know why this is my routine. When I wake up to Audrey whining to get up I feel like crying almost every time. Sometimes I feel even more tired. I tell myself, 'imagine what you would have felt like if you hadn't slept.' and I go about my day. Well I really don't know, maybe it would be better with no nap? Maybe the interrupted nap makes me more tired. I know when I wake up I feel more sad because I wasn't productive and it feels like I have way more to accomplish in a way shorter amount of time.

It's a dilemma, but to be honest. Today is a new day and I will prob try and nap again. I odn't know how else to get through the day when I feel utterly exhausted when I wake up in the morning. Poor Audrey has such a boring mama these days.

Today is friday, hip hip hooray.
Maybe Saturday afternoon i'll send Brent and Audrey out and take a gravol and have an uninterrupted nap. haha (medicinally induced, so classy). Then I can evaluate the difference between the two. Honestly I think I am just pregnant and therefore I am tired. 18 more days, so do-able. Maybe less, maybe more.